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25 maart Moved!! Dont come here anymore! Go away!!yeah, i moved to Blogspot for good. MSN uploads photo takes forever. And Bill Gates is a money hog. averageass.blogspot.com p/s: Bill Gates part was joking. 07 februari Its the time of the year, againIts been a month I didnt make any new entry.. well, mainly cez i do not have much readers.. maybe puting my handsome pics will help, no?
Fact is, i do not have an appropriate topic to blog... I dont have money for new stuff or gadgets, so i don't blog bout phones or cameras.. all i have is a 20GB ipod full of chill stuff... I do not have a girlfriend, thus no problem with relatioship... I do not wear make up, so no blog on make ups.. so what to blog? for past few weeks i've been celebrating chinese new year, so yeah, something to talk bout.. i help my mom clean the house... then i collect some ang pows.. great food.. more drills.. GAAA!! so, i starting to read other's blog, ya know, to follow the trend of bloging.. i start with some of the best in the region, like kennysia.com and xiaxue.blogspot.com.. then click on random links to other's blog, eye opener.. so they blog bout arts, relationship, pics, hangouts and all... all these are something i have no idea how to start.... i think i should start with bloging moral, AND some other sensitive stuff, especially personal beliefs..ya see, i'm a buddhist.. it have something to do what i am now, more or less, especially on ethical side.. which also explains why i never have a gf before, cez for me, when you are in a emotional relationship with someone, you have to take care of him or her, even you are not legally require to.. why must we, u may ask.. cez the relationship is build base on trust.. you dont be with somebody without trusting him or her.. so, affraid of letting the one i love down, i reffuse to pick up a relationship, knowing i had let lots of ppl down, and thats my giving :P another reason is the "maintainence" for a gf is damn high! And I hardly even afford my own food (I eat a lot..) So it is more like a burden and responsible for me, rather then just for fun... And i respect woman very much.. Lots of relationship are base on exploiting femenism.. so i strongly againts that..(to support that statement, i guess i have to delete some porn now.. NO~~ maybe i shall make few more copies to someone else first, any 1?) Another reason is because a relationship will change, basically, your whole life.. and i'm not ready for that yet.. i enjoy being alone, not lonely.. i can go whereever i want, whenever i want... i listen to noone.. basically its the freedom i'm enjoying.. And i'm not good looking. All these thoughts always convince me not to involve in a relationship.. but everything have had 3 sides.. the good, the bad, and the grey area.. After all these thinking, it makes me to think more.. and thought goes back where it starts.. this is espacially feel empty, when u realise u have not been someone significant in somebody else's life.. like my life means nothing for somebody else's.. Yeap, sounds depress, but i'm still far away from that.. cez i belief in my own thoughts.. waiting is like my calling, gotto be patience... But sometimes its too quiet, and your mind keep tricking you.. espcially its getting close to Valentines, where couples celebrate thier faith with wines and chocolates.. Happy Valentines to my readers, if there is any. And celebrate with people you love, and of couse, those who loves you, your family. (here are some roses from my balcony, for couples that celebrates valentines.)
fuck.. taking forever to upload all this things.. nowonder ppl hates gates.. 04 januari yourselftoday, i suddenly realise something bout myself... i know jack bout myself!! i mean i cant put myself in words... this comes to my concern when i suddenly flip throw my old "logs" (not diary, i dont write everyday... but atleast i keep one..) i felt unconfortable... cez theres so lil bout myself in there... so, i ended up sitting here, trying to put words together, and describe myself... i'm sure i can do it, since i've been in school for like, since 6? so i might be able to evaluate myself.. and evaluation that do not answer to anyone... i'll start from the easiest thing bout me.. i like music like chillouts, trance, house, trip hop, vocal jazz(they have such sassy voice...).. i'm still paraniod bout my future.. i love having fun, like running around like kids, scream my heart out, making jokes on ppl, tease.. i also love chocolate!! like kisses.. i also love chocolate sundae.. i love my parents... spend time with them a lot.. i love dancing... but not really that good.. i love good laugh from the simpsons, scrubs, that 70's show, comedies.. i'm shy but like to chat with anyone bout anything, new, old, strange, stupid, whatever... i love rain as well as sunshine.. i love my body, so work out a lil to stay fit... love vegetable... love food, unless its too spicy... love hot chics.. love coffee.. love fresh air and smiles.. love my friends.. i'm lazy.. i hate picking up resposibility.. i hate ppl that whines(why whine? that doesnt help!!) i hate being yelled.. i disrespect ppl that smoke as well as fat ppl... these ppl can take care of themeselves and yet they choose to smoke or eat till thier body is messed up... they have the choice yet they choose to destroy the only thing mother nature gave them, the body.. c'mon ppl, ur body is the ONLY thing that will be with u for the rest of your life, whether u like it or not.. so love ur body, and stop smoking and gaining weight man, u dont wana lose ur body.. i'm warm hearted... love meeting ppl.. love to get my paycheck!! wana buy lots of books and read them... love the band Air, Massive Attack, Late Night Alumni.. love clubbing.. wana be singer or dancer or actor.. wana try rock climbing, dance lesson, some martial art classes... dream of trying Base jumping, feel the free fall.. wana join the red cross society, to help more helpless ppl... wana travel around the world to see different things.. wana retire at 35... the reason i'm evalauting myself is wana feel how many things i've got... but physically but mentally.. i study till college, which lots of ppl dont get the chance.. i can also see what qualities that i dont have, like i'm not hardworking and not willing to learn, and also not independence and dont know how to cook... and also i always in my confort zone and avoid challenges... i hope that some day later, i can see some differences bout myself when i look into the blog, or flip through the old "log" that i kept for years.. 03 januari 2006.. Happy New Yearaight.. 2006 man... happy new year, first of all if u reading this... if not, whatever.. just woke up, to attend a 8 o'clock seminar.. but i guess waking up at 6 while slept at 3 in the morning is a bad idea.. and the seminar last till 6 i guess... new year eve party was sort of all right... just a lil bit too warm and didnt take any photo... next time should bring someone along that has a habit to take picture.. or else theres too little to remember for my life.. "i party?! since when?! i dont remember partyin!" nothing smashing going on these days.. except the action scene i saw on tv between 2 hyppos... yet i'm not that bored yet.. pickup reading... so its like one of my new year resolution: read, atleast finish one book by the end of the year... happy new year, aight.. be good... will update when i'm awake.. 28 december An updateok
now, christmas just passed, have had some great time with my parents..
we went shopping, bought a mirror for my room(finally!).. a cloth
hanger, few stools, a laundry basket, a cd rack... and, oh, a new
book.. its called "To kill a mocking bird".. might not new for most of
u if u read through this before.. after the last blog, i went back to work for the apple centre, as they short of hand.. so i work till 24th december... that night went Oasis to visit TJ, as well as listen to live Jazz band.. and, oh, the tiramitshu there was awsome.. and so last 2 days was chilling at home, and do some reading.. and also wait for new year eve.. after all this, i will continue to do my personal research.. till then.. Happy new year.. wish y'all have another great year ahead, and dont forget to party hard! 09 december TeadropTeardrop, By Massive Attack
Love ,love is a verb
love is a doing word fearless on my breath gentle impulsion shakes me ,makes me lighter fearless on my breath teardrop on the fire fearless on my breath Night ,night of matter black flowers blossom fearless on my breath black flowers blossom fearless on my breath teardrop on the fire fearless on my Water is my eye most faithful mirror fearless on my breath teardrop on the fire of a confession fearless on my breath most faithful mirror fearless on my breath teardrop on the fire fearless on my breath It's tumbling down (as in love falling apart) It's tumbling down (as in love falling apart) 08 december the blue sky without lunch...so,
great.. everything seems to be normal, done studying at the moment,
jobless, just wana get out of this city, or this country... to work
maybe.. just wana get out and think bout my future, which is the most
unknown, uncertain, scariest and most worried.. best of all, its the
rest of my life... today, its the first day, for the rest of my life.. ty.. these few days havent been socially active... seldom talk, seldom go out... it accors to me that my energy source is talk to someone, or get out of the house and get tan... these days i dont feel happy nor sad.. just wana ignore.. rather empty.. its lunch time now, but i have had any... not because i dont wana eat or on diet... but there are too many choice out there, it makes me sick.. heck, dont forget the cleaness.. the cleanest food store near my place i know could be McDonalds.. period.. what i did the most is thinking what to do in coming months... work, obviously, but what? well, it certainly wont be bored.. or it could be fun, promising, influencial.. hmm, i should hold on to this feeling... breakthrough, i will seek.. till then, bye |
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